It snowed today. Well, not so much snow as rain that was a little frozen, but still wet enough to make it seem like you are taking a long, cold shower with all of your clothes on. Survival is almost guaranteed, though, because the powers that be saw fit to turn on the heat all over town! Right now I am cozied up to a heater in the library, trying to dry out my socks before my History of the Old Testament class, and then the loooong walk back to the dorm. Maybe I can convince one of my dorm mates (that is not a word, but you get the idea) to make me some more delicious Grog tonight. I never understood the virtues of hot liquor drinks until I got here.
I was told this week that basically I am stupid for not knowing how to speak Russian yet, and that I should keep my motivations for coming to Lithuania a secret from Lithuanians because it will piss them off. It was really embarrassing, and it made me feel like I was making some mistake in being here, but mostly it just pissed me off for a few days. Who the hell is HE to tell me that I should be at a certain point in my language studies?! and! why SHOULDN’T I tell people that I am here to study Russian and Postcolonialism in the literature of the Baltics. If it pisses people off, that is not my problem! Once I got over the initial anger (well, mostly over, looking at the last few sentences, I am still holding a minor grudge), I came to the following realizations: I got embarrassed, and I didn’t die. I was questioned, and it forced me to evaluate and defend the things that I am doing with my life. I spoke Russian, and it sucked, but I SPOKE RUSSIAN in a social setting. I am studying harder than ever in the language, because I want to be able to do better next time. I have set a date of the 1st of next month to be able to communicate with people who I know speak Russian entirely in Russian. (Except for THAT GUY. He gets English because he is judgy).
In class today I made a mistake so stupid that it made me laugh and the teacher told me that I should take my laugh to the hospital because it would make everyone feel better. A friend told me last week that my laugh is like sunshine on these rainy days. Now I just need to remember that in situations like the one above so that I can use my laughter to make myself feel better.