14 October

It snowed today.  Well, not so much snow as rain that was a little frozen, but still wet enough to make it seem like you are taking a long, cold shower with all of your clothes on.  Survival is almost guaranteed, though, because the powers that be saw fit to turn on the heat all over town!  Right now I am cozied up to a heater in the library, trying to dry out my socks before my History of the Old Testament class, and then the loooong walk back to the dorm.   Maybe I can convince one of my dorm mates (that is not a word, but you get the idea) to make me some more delicious Grog tonight.  I never understood the virtues of hot liquor drinks until I got here.

I was told this week that basically I am stupid for not knowing how to speak Russian yet, and that I should keep my motivations for coming to Lithuania a secret from Lithuanians because it will piss them off.  It was really embarrassing, and it made me feel like I was making some mistake in being here, but mostly it just pissed me off for a few days.  Who the hell is HE to tell me that I should be at a certain point in my language studies?! and! why SHOULDN’T I tell people that I am here to study Russian and Postcolonialism in the literature of the Baltics.  If it pisses people off, that is not my problem! Once I got over the initial anger (well, mostly over, looking at the last few sentences, I am still holding a minor grudge), I came to the following realizations: I got embarrassed, and I didn’t die.  I was questioned, and it forced me to evaluate and defend the things that I am doing with my life.  I spoke Russian, and it sucked, but I SPOKE RUSSIAN in a social setting.  I am studying harder than ever in the language, because I want to be able to do better next time.  I have set a date of the 1st of next month to be able to communicate with people who I know speak Russian entirely in Russian. (Except for THAT GUY.  He gets English because he is judgy).

In  class today I made a mistake so stupid that it made me laugh and the teacher told me that I should take my laugh to the hospital because it would make everyone feel better.  A friend told me last week that my laugh is like sunshine on these rainy days.  Now I just need to remember that in situations like the one above so that I can use my laughter to make myself feel better.

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2 Responses to 14 October

  1. mildaber says:

    It seems that that guy was Russian, terribly offended that people of the Baltics don’t want to be associated with “the big neighbour”. If you ask me, it is absolutely normal and even praiseworthy to study what you’re studying. Gosh, most of Lithuanian youth doesn’t speak Russian (including me), so it’s amazing that you do 🙂

    BTW, I hope it’s not too awkward that I’m commenting on your posts – I find them very interesting and almost always I find something to say, I hope it’s fine with you 🙂

  2. Kudos to you for successfully pulling off a Russian sentence. 🙂 That language is pretty hard to learn, I heard.
    People with infectious laughter are awesome. They somehow can make everyone in the room laugh with them.

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